163.

Timor Vita Es

I live my world in a cage of glass

Like shadow’s breath I smile and laugh

Behind the panes the darkness hides

To keep me safe from death inside

Every time I reach outside

To try and leave my life of lies

The cage of glass entraps my sight

With blackened soul and blinding light

The light of darkness still surrounds

Like mist above the frozen ground

My putrid heart with dreams so dear

That chance of life erupts in fear

So scared am I of living chance

Of breaking free from cage of glass

I bind myself to selfish fears

For safety’s sake I swim in tears

162.

Sometimes a scream is all there’s left to say

Silence falls alone at night

Beneath the stars in bloodless sight

Alone in shadow darkness lies

In wait for tears from desperate eyes

With whispered screams and shattered calm

The tortured sound erupts unharmed

By living’s fear alight in day

For love of stone and heart of clay

Moulded rough by gentle hands

By those whose loving care demands

The final choice of death or die

In lie of life or life of lie

161.

Carte Blanche

What am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to say?

There’s no guide no map no clue

No second chance

A single word can spoil the sound

A single glance can break the spell

On knife-edge poised about to jump

An empty hand

To grasp alone the silent air

To scream alone in silent fear

Afraid of chance and stranger’s trust

For fear of knowing him

160.

Timeo Danaos Et Dona Ferentes

A chance at last to now be grasped

Wish shaking hands and dancing heart

The smile of one who could be he

Who breaks through life to set me free

And then the gifted chance unwraps

To show the truth with hellish laughs

No chance exists except in mind

The tortured hope I hold inside

On cliff top screaming, knife in hand

For desperate wish of better land

I free my tears to blooded sky

And scream to God now let me die

159.

Maybe

I think at last I have a chance

A silvered hope in distant view

Of morning smile to match my own

And arms to hold in safe and calm

But this chance I think will rest

On daring leap from safety’s cliff

From height so tall I lose my breath

For fear of fall and death’s embrace

A nightmare’s dream in sunset sky

Alone in hope of chance’s flight

Of breaking free from torment rest

To live a life I know will last

158.

CLVIII

Chances jump and fly inside

Unearthly joy to play the bride

To dancing shadows left in heart

A stranger’s smile with lips to hide

A shallow truth left lost in words

That lie unsaid on wayside curb

In guttered hell till once they play

And flit and fly in sunset sky