156.

Forever

I know I’ll never be the One

I know I’ll never have His heart

To love and to hold and to keep as my own

And forever love through lifelong storm

I know I’ll never hold Her close

And keep Her safe through fears unknown

To keep and to hold and to love Her forever

Heal Her heart and wipe away the tear

In silent dream my heart will lie

With a thousand scars for every tear

Thrown blooded red at chances passed

In screaming dark until the last

155.

So

So close I can almost touch him

So close I can almost feel his breath

So far I cannot count the distance

So far I’ll never close the gap

So soft a smile it breaks my heart

So sweet a laugh I cannot bear

So dead inside I’ll never live

So forever stay in silence kiss

154.

Skype

There’s a camera, a speaker, a pad for all my words

A picture, a voice and a smile to melt my heart

A sparkling conversation that penetrates my soul

To spring from deep my darkest fears and save me from my cold

153.

Silence

Screaming dark devoid of life

That thunders down from stars above

Those helpless dreams of shattered gold

Lie battered, bruised in icy folds

152.

Turn

I do not know the reasons why

Such little things can make me cry

Why glimpse of joy and happy days

Still keep me here alive with fears

Why strangers’ glance or tone of voice

Will make me block off one more choice

And dreamers’ hope for warm embrace

Dies a death and ends its race

151.

Envy

I know I’m cruel and cold inside
To silent groom I’ll play the bride
And live a death of frozen warmth
Devoid of open caring arms

I look outside at gleaming world
At faces known like stranger’s hand
In joys and hells they live their dreams
My joys lay dead in hell’s cold seams

Within the cage I’m locked inside
I scream at hell’s unearthly bride
To stop the lust for other’s lives
And live in peace in ruined prize

150.

Dreamer’s Debt


My dreams have ended – life is here
I fall down soft to shed a tear
With death-like knock upon the door
My hell breaks through with molten claw

The dancing shards of sunlight spears
That rip my soul to free my fears
To let them free to rule my mind
And leave my heart so far behind

In casket cold and starved of love
In shrivelled heart still hides the dove
Away from stars and warm embrace
She waits for chance to join the race

One thousand chances passed her by
She saw them flash like lighteninged sky
But still the cruel chains keep her close
Encircle her with blackened rose

My dreams she made her gentle rest
To live and love from safety’s nest
Allowed to laugh and run and cry
She lived and loved with childlike joy

But dreams, like life, must always end
And heartfelt wounds she now must tend
For whilst she lived in sunset sky
One thousand chances passed her by

Not seen nor heard but always there
Now every chance will bring a tear
In these she’ll drown for life’s regret
Until she’s freed from lifelong debt

149.

Red-Eyed Monster



Silent screams inside my head
The voice which says I should be dead
With acid words and gentle spears
The darkness plays on all my fears
To twist my mind to cruel intent
The anger screams with hate unspent

148.

Living


Silent screams and timid steps
Shown only in the snow’s cold breath
That lead away from life so frail
Away from truth’s embittered jail

A cage of air as warm as ice
Wrapped around like deathly vice
To squeeze all joy from life around
And make me scream in silence’s sound

147.

-“No”-



Stop the dream and hide the pain
And face the truth with tears like rain
This life’s unfair and harsh as day
Kills hope and laughs with manic joy

Ripped from comfort’s tender arms
To stand on path of torture’s barbs
Release the tears to set you free
And live and die again unseen

146.

Silent Whispers




Scream for silence, whispers cry
To fading day and blood-red sky
In nightmare’s dreaming shadows lay
In wait for victims – those who stray

Alone in life they stumble blind
Let whispers enter troubled mind
Slip their head down hatred’s seam
And turn their thoughts to endless dream

145.

Prizewinners


Scarlet tears left undefined
In shattered heart and broken mind
From gentle torture’s deathly chase
I spill the tears to end this race

I reach for prize of death inviting
The glistening cup of tears that shining
Release the charm to end this day
Looks up and wipes my tears away

144.

To Fail in Life



I failed to fly again last night
I turned my head, got lost in fright
Delayed the dream to future’s day
And stood and spoke in present’s play

The crashing ground that hit me fast
That rushed and left me ripped apart
At seams of wrist with scars to show
The little lines where blood did flow

Alone in chance and hopeless words
Alive in cold and silent chords
One step behind the dreams I chase
I reach for end of desperate race

143.

Lost Little Lamb


I went last night to joyful church
I sat on chair and I heard the songs
I heard the pastor say his piece
I listened hard and lost my peace

Denial safe and secure in lie
Was swept away by songs of praise
Of belief’s “amen” and fervent prayer
To leave me alone, so stark and bare

Without my skin to hide behind
I stood apart, devoid of love
Scared and lost from lack of faith
I turned away and hid my face