70.

A Second Chance at Life so Cruel?


Why do I live in deathly pain?
And scream my silence to pouring rain?
Of futile dreams of better life
To proving oft that I can’t cope
With life, her cruelty bleeding swift
My blood-the glue to bind the rift
‘Tween life and death’s sweet fragile arms
Who calls so gentle, cool and calm
Who beckons me to join the few
Who took the chance of life anew

69.

To See the Sorrow

Why do they bleed, those stars so bright?
Why do they cry so soft through night?
To pierce the earth with silver spears
Of heaven’s crying, those pure God tears

For failing long to save the world
For seeing clear the hurting churned
By priest and pastor claiming still
That God is good and just in all

The same breath kills both hopes and dreams
Of two boys’ loving, split down seams
To part the ‘truth’ –that God loves straights
To kill the truth – that love is just

In his heaven, dying slow
God looks down on earth below
Aghast he sees the hatred loud
The rift that nought but he can hide

68.

Meaning


To sing out loud on starlight night
To sing a song of desperate plight
Of raging torment, standing strong
Of desperate bleeding, running long
Who lives and dies in sweet refrain
Who whispers love in stabbing pain
To save from torture love enchained
To bring to living death unchanged

67.

Repetition Repackaged


You say again those boring words
Just changed by how they sound
The same cold meaning stabbing close
To heart and putrid mind

I hear again your cruel intent
To drag me down and bleed me dry
With aged words but still unspent
The hate that lies to make me cry

Your sound you changed but still remains
The meaning-swift and stark behind
Those words repeated, time again
Repackaged for a frightened mind

66.

A Lifeline Reason


A startling truth I’ve now to see
This one for years I’ve longed to flee
Through knife and blood I search for death
Unknown by truth and lies beneath

My heart, she knows the reason why
I ran to knife, but could not cry
For life’s pure torture blinding swift
The knowledge – truth – and pure death’s kiss

Who screams for loving, short and dear
Hid by torture, life unclear
The wondrous truth I couldn’t see
-It’s Life, not Death that’s scaring me

65.

Broken Heart Dreams


Those kisses are mine
I dream in my heart
Your loving’s for me
And not for that tart
She loves you, you love her
It’s not all that wrong
I love you – pause - nothing
My feelings so strong…
They rattle like mothballs
In great empty house
Both Doubtfulls and Hopefulls
Who die with a kiss
On her lips so tender
To shatter with screams
And bring me to splendour

Of Broken Heart Dreams

64.

Just One More Notch In My Breaking Heart

You lie there together
Unknowing, I feel
The dreams that I’m living
The nightmare so real

Of sitting here watching
Not daring to breathe
Your kisses she felt soft
Match tears now unsheathed

For loving in envy
Sweet bitter in time
And hatred so jealous
Why’s love so unkind?

Those kisses are mine
But now it is she
Receiving your loving

Now how my heart bleeds

63.

Anniversary


Today’s the day I should be dead
The day I’ve looked upon with dread
That shows my failing crystal clear
And causes me to throw more tears
Shining crimson beauty fell
But now blue crystal’s shining spell
These tortured lines right down my cheek
Spare peaceful gateway running sweet
Who stopped by tissue, love unsure
Ran crying back to heart impure
To make me live another year
Alone with just a blue white tear

62.

Dare?


If only you knew, my flippant friend
If only you knew the truth
Would you still make your moment ‘jokes’
Or would you think then say?
The truth you see is hidden close
I guard it tight and still
To keep a smile when all you say
Is dare me – see it through
Life is finite, weak and thin
She’ll die without a fuss
With simple stroke of soft as steel
She’ll run to endless dreaming
To dreams I have and want to keep
Two scars I think is fair
One for knowing that you did wrong
And one cos you don’t care

61.

Abandoned



My scarlet dove is dying fast
She’s rotting here right where she cries
In heart and breath her blood it pours
To stain the earth and moon and skies
With running red and tearless blue
Alone she flies to life anew
From faceless torments, pure and cruel
Life’s piercing truths their evil tool
My darling dove who loves me so
I cry to you – no please don’t go!
Don’t leave me here to scream alone
And face the horror – life unknown
Who whispers soft in words of hate
Who leave me here in such a state

60.

Truth’s a Killer


Secret silence standing strong
Deep beneath one loving long
To scar the earth and bleed the sky
Now hark and hear a hated cry
Of truth’s foul bloodied veil to see
Nor good nor life so dead in me

59.

Piensa


Isn’t it strange
How one little look
And one short exchange
Can leave me entombed

Isn’t it odd
How futile it seems
To live without meaning
In lovely live dreams

Strange in heart dreaming
And odd in life live
Run without meaning
To pure scarlet dove

58.

Broken Glass


Final hope like shattered glass
Lies frozen bold in purple shards
That scream and shout to blind the mind
And hide the dreaming far behind

A thousand pieces, bold entombed
Fly swift and silent, cry alone
With purple shards to pierce the gold
Of pure in heart and love unsold

In helpless life and sudden death
Immortal fears of lack of faith
In me for all who have to see
The broken shards alive in me

57.

A Fire Outside



Love lies like winter, so bitter and cold
Lost frozen in time, one heart unsold
Captured and held tight in icy embrace
Forlorn and longing and still without faith
Knowing that sometime a warm flame will come
To shatter and melt love held icy entombed
Free her for loving with love to release
Flaming heart warming…now love is at peace

56.

Dream Time


With opened eyes I blindly fall
Straight to depths of hope so cruel
To wish upon those stars so bright
Shining black on pure white night

With half-closed eyes I stumble, trip
On anchor ropes to tie me quick
To keep to me a lifeline feared
That holds me back – regrets so near

With tight-closed eyes I dream anew
Those sacred dreams of me and you
To haul me back from white abyss
And steal my loving soft with kiss

55.

Answer


He’s everything I want and need
He’s all I admire and love
He’s the one I cannot see
The one stood hidden in front of me

54.

Now


I did it! I did it! My bleeding heart!
-What you said I couldn’t do
I did it! I did it! My scarlet dove!
-The challenges you set, I saw them through
Conquered hope and set it free
To roam and dream alone for me

53.

Return


Back here where I started
Been here once before
Sitting here and Screaming
Crying here and Dying

Love lost deep in endless shadow
Hope held tight in death
Rising here and Falling
Standing here and Lying

Lost alone in doubtful hoping
Waiting silent, never seeing
Sitting, Standing, Dying Cry
Scream and Whisper. Away I Fly

52.

One True God?


‘One’ God – Three parts you see
Scattered on wind and earth and sea
Blindly seeing all choices made
Silently commanding their servants to pray

One saviour, dead and living still
Now honour his sweet sacrifice
Scream and flee from futile fakes
From torture, idol, and black death worship

Come to us, my children
We don’t worship icons of torture
We don’t eat flesh, drink blood
We don’t chant and sway in controlled rhythm

Hopelessly controlled in every ‘choice’
You cannot say we worship death
With rituals bled into bleeding stone
And priests who rape and steal and kill

No. We’re Christian.

51.

Untitled



The final leaf of winter
Tumbles from her bed
Torn by screaming doubt she wanders
Blown by vicious winds of hunters

Plummets softly as a stone
Gentle as a blade of steel
Swift to earth she makes her way
Full of dreams of better days

Strikes not ground but cold hard flesh
To lie immortal, swathed in blood
A memory fading soon to dust
And hope as fiery as Snow White’s crust

From pristine shirt the stain it spreads
And holds the suit-like shroud it dyes
To promise – never let my heart again
Lie wounded, broken, left unseen

Lips soft parted, poised for breath
Match blue eyes now turned to grey
Icicle eyes that pierce the mind
And leave the living far behind