Tuesday, December 08, 2009

147.


-“No”-



Stop the dream and hide the pain
And face the truth with tears like rain
This life’s unfair and harsh as day
Kills hope and laughs with manic joy

Ripped from comfort’s tender arms
To stand on path of torture’s barbs
Release the tears to set you free
And live and die again unseen



Saturday, November 14, 2009

146.

Silent Whispers




Scream for silence, whispers cry
To fading day and blood-red sky
In nightmare’s dreaming shadows lay
In wait for victims – those who stray

Alone in life they stumble blind
Let whispers enter troubled mind
Slip their head down hatred’s seam
And turn their thoughts to endless dream


Monday, October 19, 2009

145.

Prizewinners


Scarlet tears left undefined
In shattered heart and broken mind
From gentle torture’s deathly chase
I spill the tears to end this race

I reach for prize of death inviting
The glistening cup of tears that shining
Release the charm to end this day
Looks up and wipes my tears away


Thursday, October 08, 2009

144.

To Fail in Life



I failed to fly again last night
I turned my head, got lost in fright
Delayed the dream to future’s day
And stood and spoke in present’s play

The crashing ground that hit me fast
That rushed and left me ripped apart
At seams of wrist with scars to show
The little lines where blood did flow

Alone in chance and hopeless words
Alive in cold and silent chords
One step behind the dreams I chase
I reach for end of desperate race



Monday, September 21, 2009

143.

Lost Little Lamb


I went last night to joyful church
I sat on chair and I heard the songs
I heard the pastor say his piece
I listened hard and lost my peace

Denial safe and secure in lie
Was swept away by songs of praise
Of belief’s “amen” and fervent prayer
To leave me alone, so stark and bare

Without my skin to hide behind
I stood apart, devoid of love
Scared and lost from lack of faith
I turned away and hid my face


Monday, August 10, 2009

142.

The Mercy Murder



My kitty caught a little mouse
She found it in the yard
Beneath a pile of wood for fires
She found it working hard
To find the food to feed its kin
It scavenged far and wide
But quickly came the kitty’s paws
And took it home with pride

A present for my family
For feeding me so well
I know you’ll love and cherish it
Like all the rest I found
The ones you took away and hid
In secret place so far
The treasure trove of loving gifts
These presents from your cat

In truth, my love, we don’t like mice
They give us quite a fright
But when we see them on the floor
We like to be quite nice
We pick them up inside a glass
And take them far away
Back outside to mouse’s homes
To woodpile, grass and sky

But this one time the mouse, it ran
It ran out from our grasp
It hid under a door and so
Went crunch when we went out
Poor little mouse, oh what a sight
Your little back is broke
What do we do, can we do right
Kill or leave to die?

We went outside, this mouse and I
To woodpile, hand in paw
I got a log, and dropped it hard
To save poor mouse from pain
In one quick blow one life expired
In scattered spread of brains
And then with care was laid in bush
To join in nature’s dance

Did I do right to kill this mouse
To save it from the pain
Would I have still have taken life
If I had let it go
To die alone in pain and fear
On slow and rainy night
My little cat, I love you so
But no more presents, please, just no.


Monday, July 20, 2009

141.

Lonely Lover



Despite the fears that keep me near
I dream of love away from tear
Of friendly touch and warm embrace
That feels so cold compared to chase
Of flying free away from love
The danger falls from sky above

One tender moment I lay in arms
So strong and sweet with scent of calm
I tried so hard to relax in love
And feel the dream from heavens above
But tight control and rooted fears
They rip me fast from comfort’s spears

Flying sideways, sleep in death
Alive in torment’s newborn breath
Relax in life’s sweet gleeful sin
So dark the soul that lies within
The heart so bright it blinded day
And made life look the other way



140.

Two Lives in Tandem Die



I live a lie to all and I
Who sees the face, the clothes and hair
The image – perfect, the truth – a lie

I kiss a boy and so I’m gay
I sleep with boy and so I’m queer
The lie I live in day on day

The truth inside is seen as lie
To those who ‘know’ or hide their eyes
From putrid tales in tears I cry

I am not a happy boy
Not straight as circle, but nor as line
I live in shell like horse of Troy

Behind the mask of perfect show
I dream of life I live for me
True comfort’s palace I want to know

Body of boy but heart of girl
Against the norm in every way
The oyster robbed of shining pearl

Until my death and sweet rebirth
I live two lives of quiet tears
Falling soft on frozen earth

Friday, May 15, 2009

139.

D.C. al Coda


3211624
A broken heart stares up from floor
5833921
In whispered hint of what’s to come
9966332
The numbers sing for me and you
8089223
A code of life that flies so free
5466938
My life and love now follow straight
1244626
In simply ordered breath of kiss
6266547
Turn with smile to sweet life’s heaven



Monday, May 04, 2009

138.

In Life’s Sweet Prison



Dying inside, lets scream alone
Let lovless torture’s silent drone
Cast silver shadow, deep inside
Dark cave of night with fires ablaze

A dream so close it touches skin
To send the fire like ice within
One troubled heart in cage of lies
So tight around the tears it cries

A ray of light still breaks through day
To take the fears from far away
To banish them to depths of mind
Release the joy that heart can’t find



Monday, April 27, 2009

137.

Indecision



Do I?
Don’t I?
-Little lie


Shall I?
Shan’t I?
-Sweet tear cry


May I?
Mayn’t I?
-Scream the truth


Can I?
Can’t I?
-Live with death


Will I?
Won’t I?
-Find my love


Do I?
Shall I?
May I?
Can I?
Will I?


Live?


Free to be me


Tuesday, March 24, 2009

136.


Punishment


Death deformed in light of day
In crumpled soul abandoned lay
On ground’s cold skin as soft as steel
That cuts so deep with blood to heal

Red soul runs so far away
Predator turns at once to prey
The cause of pain now feels the hurt
Of stabbing words that cut to heart

The final act to end the pain
Of ex-friend’s words like acid rain
Escape in blood to freedom get
And force his mind to life’s regret



135.

Smothered Blanket


I scream aloud to silent air
That wraps around a soul so bare
Left drowned in dreams of cheerful day
And hidden deep in lies I say

Whispered tears for life unloved
That gently tortures freedom’s dove
Alive in breath’s last dying cry
A heart’s escape with blooded sigh


Saturday, March 07, 2009

134.

BlindSight Searching



Blank eyes search for truth in soul
A truth left marred by lies of old
Perfection’s mask devoid of warmth
Guide the eye in gentle glance
To pale white love left lined on wrist
That marks the path of death’s sweet kiss
A marble heart entombed in flesh
Alone in search for peace at rest



Saturday, February 28, 2009

133.

Whispered Scream in NightDay Silence



Silence screaming, standing slow
In light of day with shadowed glow
To cast upon a heart unloved
That daily turns to scarlet dove

Alive in dreams of death depart
Embrace the blooded screaming heart
Of knife and lover’s cry to flee
Still standing small alive in me


132.

To Die at Birth is Such a Joy


I thought I knew my lonely heart
-It lived with me since womb depart
But now it comes with swift surprise
Another side from which to hide

Deadened soul and mind entwine
To loveless heart in search of sign
To love and lover’s dying breath
Of which may I not find till death

131.

Frozen Shadow



Silent shadow sweet depart
From broken mind and sullen heart
Release the screams left loveless lost
Beneath the clouds of frozen dust

One hundred winters long to stay
In chest of ice and soul of clay
That, moulded rough by others’ hands,
Feels foreign, lost, and coarse as sand

Alive with sadness, deep despair
Floats shadowlike in silent air
To smother kind the desperate plea
And make me drown in blood-red sea


130.

Scream


Silent drown in deep despair
Cast a net to catch the tear
Release the doubt held tight within
Each silent heart with song to sing
Alive in deathly hope unleashed
Mangled soul with love to seek

Monday, February 09, 2009

129.

Protection



I told a little lie last night
The reasons why? I’m scared to fight
My little lie caused no-one harm
So why am I so far from calm?
Shall I be held by ‘must’ and ‘should’
Or float and fly in ‘want’ and ‘could’?
Why must I lie to save my soul
When all I want is love to hold?
To keep me safe against the storm
I built a fort devoid of warm
With walls of cold and bricks of lies
I save my heart from tears I cried


128.

Prognosis



I hear the screams inside my soul
The crying hurt felt so deathly cold
In unseen illness and fractured love
A bitter sign sill hides its touch
Nothing’s broken but everything hurts
This is the sign of a broken heart


Thursday, January 22, 2009

127.

Change d’Univers


“Danger! Danger!” senses cry
To heart of cold and bloodied sky
“Release the fears still held within
And maybe then your soul can sing”

I know the truth in words I hear
And try to live away from fear
I try to leave my dreams for dead
But still they rear their ugly head

“You lived your life in glances scared
With dreams and wishes left unheard
When will you set your dreams to rest
And unlock the gates to heart’s cold chest?”

My life is not a simple game
With every chance I wait for shame
Expect the worst and fear the best
And lock my heart in dreamer’s chest

126.

Prideful Pain


Screams of silence, locked inside
A troubled heart so scarred by pride
The fear to ask for help in life
That turned my mind to bleeding knife

In silent screams and bone-dry tears
I try to hide from deepest fears
The ones I know I can’t escape
-From dreams of life I’ll surely wake

If the chance came once again
To end this life of silent pain
Would I then turn to silken steel?
And live in dreams for ever real

125.

Phoenix Tears



Silent tears in clouded rain
Fall from eyes of desperate pain
To heal the longing felt inside
The wish to simply turn and hide
From life and truth and endless hope
To turn and kiss the lifeline rope
That leads to smiles and endless dreams
And heals the longing felt in screams