141.

Lonely Lover



Despite the fears that keep me near
I dream of love away from tear
Of friendly touch and warm embrace
That feels so cold compared to chase
Of flying free away from love
The danger falls from sky above

One tender moment I lay in arms
So strong and sweet with scent of calm
I tried so hard to relax in love
And feel the dream from heavens above
But tight control and rooted fears
They rip me fast from comfort’s spears

Flying sideways, sleep in death
Alive in torment’s newborn breath
Relax in life’s sweet gleeful sin
So dark the soul that lies within
The heart so bright it blinded day
And made life look the other way

140.

Two Lives in Tandem Die



I live a lie to all and I
Who sees the face, the clothes and hair
The image – perfect, the truth – a lie

I kiss a boy and so I’m gay
I sleep with boy and so I’m queer
The lie I live in day on day

The truth inside is seen as lie
To those who ‘know’ or hide their eyes
From putrid tales in tears I cry

I am not a happy boy
Not straight as circle, but nor as line
I live in shell like horse of Troy

Behind the mask of perfect show
I dream of life I live for me
True comfort’s palace I want to know

Body of boy but heart of girl
Against the norm in every way
The oyster robbed of shining pearl

Until my death and sweet rebirth
I live two lives of quiet tears
Falling soft on frozen earth